We LIVE TO TELL after CAUSING A COMMOTION for Tommy's Bachelor Party...on yea and VOGUE, VOGUE, VOGUE

Tommy that title was for you! (All Madonna song titles for those non-fans (don't let Tommy hear you admit to that!)) Do you know how I know my friends and I are getting older? We stock up on Pedialyte for bachelor/bachelorette parties and other alcohol heavy weekends. We all returned from Tommy's bachelor party...well at least I think we did. Some did, however, return home to their loved ones with bumps and bruises...(the first house had sliding doors that were a little tooooo clean). I don't think we could have asked for a better weekend...except I would like the 15 hours I spent in, or close to, the bathroom with food poisoning (or questionable pool water poisoning from my brother unexpectedly dunking/flipping me). After a weekend full of liquid encouragement, dancing, pool floats, lots of sunshine exposure, and 1 confiscated box from the post office (damn penis straws), everyone in attendance needed to sleep for a solid 38 hours.  

Since my brother lives in Fort Lauderdale, I lucked out being able to see him on this trip (and better yet, a free ride from the airport)! The aviation gods were in our favor, and he actually had a few days off for us to visit (or get picked up from the airport). Plus, as the wonderful sister that I am, I was nice enough to let him join the festivities. I would need about 20 minutes to explain how we all know each other from the party, but Parker graduated a year above most of those in attendance. 

The hostess of the bachelor party, Meagan, picked 2 awesome houses for us to stay in while we were down there. Lets get real, we would have been thrown out of the hotel for a number of reasons. My top guesses are a noise complaint or streaking/indecent exposure (both of which happened at the houses). Night one involved dinner from the house chef (just kidding...it was Grill Master Tom Senior...Tommy's dad), inflatable beer pong (which we sucked at), Tito's, and chicken fights in the pool (also where more bruises came from...however the doors really were the main culprit). 

On day 2, after an afternoon of lounging (some by the pool, some by the beach, some by the toilet), we moved to our home for the rest of the weekend. A spacious, all white (and most likely where porno or 2 have been filmed) million dollar home on the water in Pompano Beach. While the rest of the party went to dinner, Park and I stayed in, watched TV, and actually got to visit. I slept through most of the evening's festivities (only a New Yorker (or my father) could sleep through blaring pop divas, screaming, twerking, and a pool party)...but I happily woke up to some iced coffee in the fridge from a wonderful drunk person's 2am life choices. 

And what does a party need after 2 days of drinking?? An all-day pool party thrown by Tommy's friend! We were beyond spoiled and spent the afternoon sipping on cocktails, eating (and floating on) pizza, listening to Madonna on repeat (Tommy's spiritual mother) and enjoying the sun (but not too much sun because 80% of us were born with that Midwest skin). After 8 strenuous hours of lounging, we herded the drunks into 2 cars...somehow managed to split up on the ride home...and the party dwindling to 3 for dinner by the water. When we finally managed to gather the full party in one location, we were in a questionable area in Fort Lauderdale after a recommendation to go to Hunters. Turns out there are two bars named Hunters. One is a gay nightclub...the other is a rundown bar in an area we couldn't get out of fast enough. Have no fear, we finally made it to the right Hunters, and danced the evening away with the gay men of Fort Lauderdale, aged 45 and up!

By the end of the trip, Tommy was (and probably still is) a bronzed god (or goddess), Adam secured a backup career as a stripper if music and performing doesn't work out, Meagan's bruises healed, and I was able to eat a real meal! Can't wait until the wedding! Also, I'm now accepting applications for my plus one. 

And what's an Auntie Lo post without a dating reference? While I stay in recovery mode from a trip (but in a room with a real window!)...I will leave you with this...Tinder now has a feature to "Recommend _______ to a friend." Since I'm pretty sure no one does this...I ask you to consider - what if Tinder offered a spot for reviews??? Kinda like Yelp, but for dates/people. Guy stood me up at the bar on the 2nd date...no text. Or WARNING! Charmer at first, but be sure to keep all hands and feet inside the car at all times, better yet, hold the F on because you're about to be put on one hell of an emotional rollercoaster ride. Initial climb...so good...then the next think you know you're over the hump and it's a straight downward free fall at a rapid rate...then you're back up...oh wait, just kidding...back down you goooooooo.

Chat soon! 

Love, 

A Lo Xx

Know what's more exhausting than dating?? Finding a roommate!

Carrie Bradshaw once said, "In New York, you're always looking for a job, boyfriend, or an apartment." As I enter my 4th year as a transplant, I can confirm that no truer words have been spoken. You're for sure always looking for 1...and at some point in life...you're probably looking for all 3! While the quest for finding Mr. Logan Webb continues (I'm assuming he will take my last name since I already get mail addressed to him), I'm taking a break from the dating saga to explain an even harder, and more daunting task...finding a new roommate. 

Just like dating, there are "rules" to finding a roommate...and for every rule, there are 25 questions of "are we even doing this right?" It's exhausting...really! There needs to be a book called Finding a Roommate for DUMMIES. You show the apartment for most of the month (it's basically like being on 15 first dates in 2 weeks...WHICH NO ONE SHOULD DO)...and everyone is playing hard to get....and both sides do this! "We are showing the apartment until the end of the week, and will make a decision by Monday" (aka we want to be noncommittal...we are looking for someone better...it's that Tinder swiping in the bathroom when your current Tinder date is at the bar)...and they reply with a "keep me posted, I too am looking at other places the rest of the week"..but at some point both of you say "if you like us...or are interested...let us know.." 

But then you have that connection, where the initial meeting is SOOOOO great, and when they leave...you think THIS IS THE ONE...this is our new roommate. We will be the 3 Musketeers! She will fill that void this apartment so very much needs (someone willing to live without an actual window...and just a skylight.) It was that love story we all strive for...that rom-com kinda connection. She was our last showing that evening (after 4 others)...and Crystal and I desperately needed a drink. As the wonderful hosts (and potential roommates) that we are...we offered her a drink. I was even willing to share my Tito's with this girl! The apartment showing was going great...and we always save the best part for last...the rooftop! The mood was set, the lights were on...we were ready to seal the deal. She filled us in on why she was looking for a new apartment...her and her boyfriend had just broken up (YES! this is it...why not live with 2 other single girls post breakup.) An hour later she hugged (YES HUGGED!) us and we parted ways. We had our front runner...and after much deliberation on how to word the text...we offered her the apartment with great enthusiasm (but you know..not too great because you don't want to look desperate.) We see her # pop back up with a reply (omg omg omg its her...hopefully she says yes!)...and we get the "You guys are awesome (obviously)...I'll let you know by the end of the week" THE END OF THE WEEK?! But it went so well! (Instantly starts overplaying the entire conversation on the roof.) So now we have to decide...do we put our eggs in one basket or cut ties and move on. We had 4 more days until Friday...we can't wait...we will be stuck without a roommate...(but deep down you know you're not ready to move on.)

Who wouldn't want to live with us?! 💩

So when it doesn't work out...what do you do? YOU GET BACK OUT THERE!! 

So we show the apartment again...and the guy shows up an hour+ late (great start bro.) We decide to let the tardiness slide (Crystal and I were also one too many cocktails deep after a stressful day) and decide this guy could be a good fit. (But did we have beer goggles on? Were we going to wake up lying next to (or in this case sharing the bathroom with) last night's (potentially regrettable) decision?) Unlike a bad one night stand, he did text us saying he liked the place....(here we go again) BUT he was going to live with a bandmate...(not going to lie..somewhat of a relief.)

Sometimes you're on the other end...and you get to do the breaking up with...and it typical fashion...the person who likes you (girl who likes the place)...you don't like back (she was nuts)...it's a vicious cycle really. I can safely say this was not a case of the nice guy finishing last (or ever in some instances). Can't be a good start when she hasn't even been to the apartment, and we've labeled her "The Tweaker" just based on her emails. This is basically the date you want to cancel, but can't...go on it anyways...and it's as horrendous as you imagined it would be! (MUST. FIND. AN. ESCAPE.) Let's call her Stephanie...Stephanie came in and did what NO person should do on a first date...overshare. You have to keep some things a mystery...like the fact you keep saying you're broke...or that when you first moved to New York, you illegally lived on an abandoned boat where you trespassed every night to get in. While we appreciate your honesty (what girl doesn't)...this clearly isn't going to work out. Stephanie just couldn't take a hint...she wanted the room the next day, and while we told her the room was filled (lies...all lies) she wanted to make plans to hangout in the future...(finally got to do the ghosting for once!) 

In the end it all works out...Crystal and I have filled the room...and lucky for us...the girl is a graduate student, and won't be moving in until mid-August. Crystal and I will get to spend our summer like it's a 2-bedroom. Plus, I'm upgrading to a real window and not just a skylight! Helllllo AC unit. (Last summer I almost lost my sanity because I didn't have air conditioning in my room...in August. I don't recommend this life choice and now understand why most murders occur in the summer.) For those who haven't been to NYC...buildings RARELY have central cooling...it's all window units. 

What's been new in my life you ask? Well, I barely survived May and turning 29. You know how last year I said that everyone deserves a whole month to celebrate? I take that back...I could barely make it a week. This almost 30 thing is hard. There were out of town visitors, drinks, multiple birthday celebrations, a party, more drinks, dancing, and hangovers. My body nearly shut down. In addition to a birthday, I went to my first Indy500 with Poppa Webb (Mom...go tell Dad that I mentioned him!) We spent the weekend people watching (my God it's a great spot for that), losing our hearing with cars going by at 230mph, and spending some quality father-daughter time together. I do have to mention...he was pretty heart broken when a group of guys in their early 20's walked by and yelled "I hope that guy is your grandpa." (poor guy...it must be the white hair.) There was also a quick weekend trip home to enjoy the pool.. I mean spend time with my parents :)

Mean Girls

29 Candles

My grandpa...I mean my dad

See you in July when I return (hopefully) from Tommy Kiernan's bachelor party in Fort Lauderdale (please send your prayers.) Also, I've turned on the comments section...I'd love to hear your roommate/apartment hunting stories as well!

Love, 

A Lo Xx 

As the wise Will Smith once said...Welcome to Miami

It was time for a long weekend away from the city...and what better of an excuse than to celebrate Christine's 21st birthday (for the 8th time) and to see my brother. Christine (who I frequently visit) lives in Philly (it's usually a toss up who I mention more...Christine/Gab or my mother) and is part of the Australia Study Abroad Trifecta. As you'll see from some of the photos, my brother filled in for Gab since she just popped out Miss Ayva and couldn't travel. Sorry Gabs, Auntie Lo isn't ready to vaca with a baby :)

Packing for Florida should be easy, right?!...WRONG! I'm pretty sure Christine and I brought 11 pairs of shoes combined for a 5 day trip. I had shoes in my carryon suitcase AND in my bag under the seat. As a girl who wears black 90% of the time, I always tend to overpack for trips. This girl went to Europe already at the weight limit with the intention of going shopping! (which I did of course). 

The Friday night packing session went a little something like this..."Okay 5 days in Florida...with a carryon suitcase...you need swimsuits...3 should be good...a pool suit..a beach suit...and an extra?...2 coverups (what if one gets wet)...night outfits...well you don't really like going "out out" (very different than just "out")..but bring those red heels you just bought...5 black tank tops (note: 3 of them were sheer and look exactly the same)...2 pairs of black denim shorts...1 extra pair of jeans...beach sandals...nice sandals...a dress...a curling iron...more pants...more black shirts...oh and workout clothes...(WHY GOD?! WHY DO WOMEN DO THIS?!...and the reasoning behind it!!...) because I'm going to get up in the morning and workout (THIS NEVER HAPPENS BUT WE DO IT EVERY TRIP!)...I'm going to be healthy this trip"... I wasted perfectly good suitcase real estate on tennis shoes. Do you know how many more sheer tanks I could have packed?! In reality - I think I wore 30% of what I brought...maybe one day I will learn. 

Saturday, we flew in the morning, got a brief tour of Parker's apartment complex (aka how to get to the pool without getting lost), napped poolside, then went to a local sports bar to watch March Madness. Since Christine was the only one to complete a bracket, (I refuse to participate in activities that have the possibility of me losing...well except for dating) we scrutinized every scenario and outcome for her to win with having Gonzaga as the champs* (*Since UNC won, the Webb Siblings will not be responsible for any binge drinking of sorrows or loss of dignity and/or monetary funds by Christine.) 

See Mom and Dad...we can get along in public  

SPF 50 applied every hour ☀️ 

Sunday was a full and fabulous day! We started with brunch at Palace in South Beach...which if you didn't see my Instagram or Snapchat overload, is a 2-ish hour unlimited mimosa and pre-fix brunch that involves drag queens. Seriously, if you're going to be in the South Beach area, make a reservation and GO! The food is average, but you rarely have an empty glass...and let's be real...you aren't going for the breakfast burrito or steak and eggs...you're going with the hopes that a drag queen will make your brother motorboat their DD sized chest. Sadly, this did not happen...however after 2.5 hours of drinking..the energy level in the restaurant was at a 10...traffic was coming to a halt so performers could catwalk and cartwheel across the street, a 90 year-old grandma basically played the bongos on a draq queen's ass, and Christine twerked to get her birthday shot. (I have this on film for blackmail if she decides to ever cross me...muahahaha.)

That woman's face is the caption to this photo 😂 

"Clap your hands if you've had too many mimosas" 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Coing down from our drag queen high and mimosa buzz, we explored the rest of South Beach and ventured over to Wynwood. This area was a little more my style...more art galleries and building graffiti. Hard to believe, but South Beach really wasn't our scene...we wore too much clothing. The rest of the trip involved a spa day at the Victor Hotel, pool and beach time (probably in the same swimsuit), Titos, food trucks, and watching too much Drunk History. (seriously, watch it!) Relaxation trip was a success, however, I still firmly believe that I could never live in Florida...mostly because everything is in a strip mall. Sunny Isles, Florida...the city of sun and sea...and where Walgreens, the Russian Mafia Geico office, and an $$$ Italian restaurant on Yelp are all obstructed from the street by a Buffalo Wild Wings. 

Wynwood

Vacation mode over...back to living on eggs, hitting the gym, and being on a budget (or so I tell myself.) 

Love 

A Lo Xx

I'M BAAAAACK!

I know! I know! To say I've been ignoring you would be an understatement. I'm totally that person we've all dated (or have been THAT person) that falls off the face of the earth for a few months...and just when you think you've moved on they send the "hey :)" text and F up your whole life! 

2017 started out busy. There's been traveling, dating disasters, going away parties (not for me) and completed taxes! I took my regular New Year's Eve trip to Philadelphia...flew on my dad's retirement trip from Dallas to Tucson to Chicago to St. Louis to New York..and headed back to Philadelphia for a much needed weekend away from the city.

This past weekend was particularly special! After a rather low-key weekend in Philadelphia (rare) with brunch, shopping, drinking cocktails like grown-ups (rarer) and everyone waking up where they were supposed to be...and alone (rarest)...we headed to New Jersey to meet the newest member of our best friends' club. Miss Ayva Maryon Wisdom had her official induction ceremony and met her Auntie Lo and God Mother Christine (Tina) for the first time. WARNING! I'm about to get emotional. What made meeting Ayva that specific weekend so special was that I met her mother, Gabrielle (Jo that was for you) and Christine exactly 8 years ago while studying abroad in Australia. What better way to celebrate 8 years of friendship than with a baby farting on you and no alcohol. Maybe our 10-year anniversary will be a little more eventful! 

Friendship anniversaries are better than dating anniversaries anyway. Have I mentioned that dating in this city is difficult? So far this year I've been benched...pulled from the bench...put on the DL..pulled from the DL..and cut from the team...just to get the "it's not you..it's me" or the "I'm not looking for a commitment" bullshit. Yea dude...because every girl on Tinder is looking for the marriage proposal on date number 3. (insert eye roll.) After telling my mother the latest dating saga, she proceeded to tell me that I should use my tax return for a real dating app. I know she was trying to be encouraging, however I could sense the fear in her voice. 

If you meet in real life (IRL for those who want to learn slang) you have to worry about the signals. Are they in to you? Are they not into you? Did we just make eye contact?? Was that a smile? One time I thought this guy was hitting on me in the elevator in my office building. I had in headphones but could see he was saying something to me. I took my headphones out all cute...probably flipped my hair...and waited for him to deliver THE line. "You have bird shit on your purse"...ahh yes...the go-to "you have bird shit on your purse" pick-up line...wait WHAT?? Inner monologue: "okay. Stay cool. Smile....oh shit I really do have bird shit on my purse...do I say thank you? Is this a nice purse? Oh right the guy...Just say thank you and maybe touch your hair? Okay..showing pearly whites...in 3...2...1... Reality: guy got off the elevator 2 floors ago. 

Keeping this one short and sweet (you know..I am a little rusty) I swear I'm going to make you a priority again! The next trip on the list is Miami...so be prepared :)

Love

A Lo Xx

Brooklyn, Buttheads, & Birthday Shenanigans

I'VE MISSED YOU!! Lots has happened since we last chatted! Where should I start?!

Brooklyn

At the beginning of May, I took a mini break from blogging to move into a new apartment in Brooklyn (Bushwick to be exact.) I know what some of you are thinking...No, I don't live alone (still too expensive and boring)...Yes, I actually gained a roommate (3 with me). You will be hearing a lot about one of my roommates, Crystal. Although we are a house divided on liquor (she's team Jameson, I'm team Titos), we've created an ever lasting bond over claiming zero dependents on our taxes. Good stories usually come from our nights out on the town. Did I mention we also work together??

Life as a Brooklynite involves a 30 minute commute to Manhattan on a train that is usually way too packed for comfort...but hey, you have to meet people somehow. What better than a little morning groping to start the convo? I thought a move back towards the Midwest was in my near future, but that plan is on hold! New York has won me over for now. 

Buttheads

I've kept the dating life off of Auntie Lo, but figured it was time to give you a small taste of what single life is like in the city of 8 million people. You think it would be easy here...WRONG! Let me start by saying that there are twice as many single women as there are single men...Off to a GREAT start. Then you add in the fact that we thrive off working long hours and cringe at the thought of conversing with strangers (unless they can help our careers). Perfect equation for success, amirite?? (insert eye roll). 

With that being said, I snatched one up for a bit (or so I thought), and was dating someone for a few months...PLUS he wasn't my type (think baby face). If you ask my mother what my type is, she will tell you it usually involves men who look (or behave) like they belong in jail. I mean..what girl isn't a sucker for that bad-boy appeal? I was really proud of myself! It started off so well...and then...he ghosted me! For my friends that are behind on the dating lingo...It's an "ALARMING" new dating trend, and probably the most cowardly way to end a fling. The "I'll text you tomorrow about dinner" turns into cricket. Nothing. Not a word...ever..again. Men, listen up. NO GROWN ASS MAN IN THEIR 30's SHOULD EVER GHOST A WOMAN. 

Whats next, you ask? You get yourself a manicure (because you can't swipe left or right with ugly hands), download Tinder (desperate)...Bumble (less desperate)...or Match (least desperate), and you swipe your little heart out solely judging people based on their looks!

Sorry Mom...I tried, but Im going back to beards and tattoos :)

Birthday Shenanigans

I LOVE celebrating birthdays, and fully support anyone thinking they deserve a whole week to do so. Personally, I aim to celebrate the whole month. This year my birthday fell on a Monday, which means the partying started on the Friday before and ended the following Sunday in serious recovery mode. Pre-birthday weekend involved dinners with close friends and dancing until my feet hurt (which was roughly 3am.) 

But what's a birthday without a party?! And with moving into a new apartment, the roommates and I decided to throw a dual housewarming/birthday party! That's 2 reasons to celebrate! The day (and night) was full of sangria, vodka soaked gummy bears, wonderful company (even a sibling), emoji balloons, and a makeshift photo booth. I don't want to brag, but it was probably one of the best adult birthday parties! If I could post all 154 photos, I would! Turning 28 wasn't so bad :)

I wish you all could have been there! 

Between bachelorette parties, weddings, and mini reunions, I should be seeing a lot of you soon! 

Love

A Lo Xx

I'm a Real PEEP-le Person

FINALLY - A post without a bun in the oven shoutout! (There are so many pregnant ladies in St. Charles at the moment that I'm afraid to drink the water.)

While I love living away in a different city, I do miss being around my family for holiday and birthday celebrations. Since everyone in my family works in the airline industry (except my black sheep self), The Webb clan has rarely celebrated a holiday (or birthday) on the actual date it falls. Santa has been known to show up on the 23rd..birthdays have been celebrated a month late..and Halloween parties have been thrown in January (that one is for my Wartburg Soccer family.) Now we are just a bunch of holiday party crashers, as we tend to celebrate them in different cities or with other families.  

This Easter was no different...and in New York, us holiday orphans tend to stick together. My friend invited me to tag along to an annual Peeps Olympics, (yes..the the marshmallow candy...and yes..alcohol was involved.) I was really excited to meet new people (in my opinion, you can never have too many friends) and fill the void of my family by hitting the crap out of a piñata and launching candy off a balcony. I did have one major concern - I'm probably one of the most competitive people you will meet. (I'm a Webb...EVERYTHING is a competition.) 

I tried really hard not to scare away my potential new friends, so I kept my aggression at bay for most of the games. No elbows were thrown during "how many peeps in the jar," the target drop, nor during the peep-run derby. I saved it all for the peep shaped piñata..(I had one at every birthday party from the age of 4, so I'm basically a professional.)

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The most entertaining events of the evening were the no-handed peep pick up and chubby bunny. No hand pick up involves a cup, a peep, and flexibility, with the goal of picking up the peep without using your hands or letting any body part touch the ground..(this game is great if you're 5'2" and do yoga.) To say the men struggled would be an understatement. The average heat time for the ladies was about 20 seconds..and the men, well they are still at the park as we speak.

It's safe to say that I epically failed at chubby bunny. For those of you who aren't familiar with this game..the purpose is to fit (shove) as many peeps in your mouth as possible. The winner got to 14...I started drooling uncontrollably at 3. 

I am keeping this bad boy short and sweet. More to come later this month! 

Love you my peeps :)

A Lo Xx

Playing Tourist

AND another one bites the dust...(That's okay to say about a pregnant lady, right?) A BIG congratulations goes out to Jessica for announcing she is pregnant with her first.. and ITS A BOY!! Also, a big round of applause to her husband for not choking on the reveal...He shot an arrow into a balloon while everyone was watching...talk about pressure.

Looking at downtown Manhattan. Photo taken by: Seth Drury

Early this month, I put on my New York City Tour Guide Hat for a jam-packed weekend with my college bestie, Rachel, and her husband, Seth. I LOVE having visitors! It gives me an excuse to do all the touristy things that I act like I'm too cool for. (Come visit me, people!) Do you know what I love even more than having visitors? Having repeat visitors! You get a balance of touristy and not-so-touristy activities. (I would also like to note that while some of you have been slacking to see me once, Rachel and Seth love me so much..they came back for seconds.)

Friday, we hit up a show on Broadway and saw Something Rotten. (A humorous must see if you come to New York!) It was one of the funniest shows I've seen and a definite see again. Saturday was a full day that started with going to the top of the Empire State Building. (I've lived here for 3 years, and had never been.) Post Empire State we ate ramen (Seth ate rice since he doesn't know how to use chopsticks...amateur) and went to watch the chaos in Grand Central Terminal. The evening included live music, drinks, and people watching at Cafe Wha?. For anyone that I haven't dragged to Cafe Wha?...it's an underground dark hole great for watching people drunkenly shake their booties to the house band.

Who needs a selfie stick when you have Seth?!

On Sunday, we brunched with pop diva themed beverages then walked The High Line and Chelsea Market to burn off our Madonna Mimosas. I am pretty sure the highlight of Rachel's trip was experiencing Trader Joe's on a Sunday. When we arrived at 5pm, Club TJ's was on a one in, one out policy. Once the Hawaiian t-shirt wearing bouncer let us in the door, I parked Rachel's petite self in the check out line. (This is the number 1 rule when shopping at Trader Joe's...never fly solo...one person runs around the store while the other holds down your spot in line.)

I love company so much that after Seth and Rachel left on Sunday, I invited my mother up for dinner on Wednesday. One of the perks of being a retired flight attendant is being able to fly up on a weekday just to have dinner with their (favorite) child. (Yes, I know I have mentioned my mother in every post so far. Yes, I know that I have probably scared away potential suitors with mentioning her all the time - sometimes a girls just needs her mom.)

Even when the company leaves, the fun doesn't stop. The following weekend I went to a boy band sing-along and sang my inner twelve year-old lungs out. I'm talking a bar full of women "singing" (screaming) Backstreet Boys, NSync, Boyz II Men, New Kids On The Block, and LFO. (Side note: every time I hear Boyz II Men, I think of my father banning my brother from listening to them because he thought they were a rap group... oh Papa Webb.) If you ignore this whole post, please just watch the video...it will make your day. (And the poor men that got dragged to this thing...)

After Boy Band Mania, I had to give my vocal chords a rest, so my roommate (who is recovering from ACL surgery) and I ventured out to a show at The Public Theater. For any of you theater fans, this is where they showcase the work of up-and-coming performers and writers. Going out with Lori (now that she is a gimp) is slightly different than our pre-surgery outings. Before her surgery, I would have to power walk to keep up with her long-legged strides. Now that she is post surgery (and no longer using her crutches), we move at a much slower place. (So slow that I can wear heels.) I have taken on the role of being her guide dog (similar to how you would escort your grandma around town.) The next time we go out, I am going to wear a red vest that says "Service Dog, Do Not Pet" (unless you're tall, dark and handsome.)

As a courtesy, I thought I would note that I will usually keep posts relatively short. They are perfect for your commute or when you need that 15-minute bathroom break from your significant other, child, animal, or co-worker. 

Until next time! (I promise it won't be a month!)

A Lo Xx

Typical New Yorker...Fashionably Late

First and foremost, I must give a loving shoutout to Grace (a new doggy mom as of Monday) and Ashley (who announced she is expecting nugget número dos). You are the reason that Auntie Lo exists :)

I have been a busy lady since we last chatted! Knicks games, dinners and drinks out with friends, and brunches....so many brunches! I have been trying to write this post now for about 2 weeks, and in typical Lo fashion, I've procrastinated. Okay, maybe it's not truly considered procrastination since I make my own deadlines. It is more like I am easily persuaded to join any and all social engagements. My main problem: I never want to miss out on anything. (I can't. I just cant.) A little part of Auntie Lo dies when her friends go out without her, and my mother can attest to this. 

The conversations I have with her on Thursdays usually go a little something like this...

MOM: What are you doing this weekend?

ME: Nothing really planned. Probably a low-key weekend...cook, do laundry, and rest.

MOM: Yea okay... until someone asks you to do something.

ME: No, I'm really going to stay in. I'm exhausted (I could easily say tired, but I'm a New Yorker, I go for dramatic.)

Fast forward to Monday morning, and I've eaten my bodyweight in eggs and Bloody Marys (or mimosas), have gone out for drinks with friends, and have most likely bought some article(s) of clothing that I JUST HAD TO HAVE!

This post was originally going to be about my recent week-long taste of retirement after my jaunt to Florida to visit my mother. This was her first year of being a snowbird, and i think she liked it. One of my best friends (the stunning brunette in the caricature below) and I flew down together, and if you've ever flown from New York to Florida in the month of February, you will know that we dropped the average age of the flight by 30 years. I think we were the only 2 that weren't escorted down in wheelchairs. The week was full of beach visits, reading, pampering, poolside drinks, and quality mother-daughter bonding time. (I think I am going to be really good at this retirement thing.) This week also included some life-lessons, such as "Things you CAN'T do when you are 27." Topping the list: riding a roller coaster 3 times in 12 minutes.

Side note: I had this idea to tell you what I was doing while blogging. My attempts:

• Attempt #1 - Blogging while hibernating inside due to freezing temps and enjoying a rare long weekend off of work. I did manage to stay in my apartment for 24 hours... it was that cold. 
• Attempt #3 - Blogging post Grammys and dreaming about what kind of pop singer I would be. I am definitely not a Taylor or a Gaga..possibly an Ellie? 
• Attempt #6 - Blogging while nursing an accidental weekday hangover. Ooops...I'm pretty sure this involved more Pinterest and "watching" Narcos. FYI...watching = reading subtitles.
• Attempt #7 - Blogging post laundry and catching up on the Bachelor... (I know! I know!) I have done a lot of embarrassing things in my life, but admitting to this is really up there.

I would like to say that I am going to be more timely at this, but I doubt it :) 

Do you hear that?? No, me neither...it is called silence... that thing that happens in a nugget free zone.. aka my apartment.

A Lo Xx

Allow myself to introduce...myself

Welcome to Auntie Lo…the blog that finds acceptance in women being "behind" in life. I'm 27, not married, and don't have any little nuggets (2 legged or 4 legged) running around. I grew up in the Midwest and did not find the love of my life in high school or college. So by Midwest living standards, and to (most) women over the age of 50, I'm basically f’ed... Sorry mom. In my opinion…your 20’s should be for traveling, making mistakes, and spending too much money at Sephora.

Why the name Auntie Lo? Ask anyone that knows me, and they will tell you that I'm terrified of tiny children and any mention of pregnancy gives me the sweats (I swear those little nuggets can sense my fear). I've never changed a diaper by myself and my friends won’t let me hold their children unless I'm sitting down and have adult supervision. I can guarantee one thing… I will spoil the crap out of those little turds. I'm totally going to be that cool aunt that your kids come to for advice, however, they aren't allowed to stay over at my place or touch my expensive things :) Let me clarify that these will be my friends’ kids. My older brother is just as behind.  It appears that us Webb kids fall under the late bloomers category.

I am currently living in a spacious (sarcasm) New York City apartment - living on eggs, coffee, and Titos, and trying to find a healthy balance of work, social events, traveling, and the gym; not to mention finding time to make sure I have clean undies to wear to work. Even when I was little, I knew I wanted to live in New York. After finishing my MBA in Marshall, MN ($10 for the first person to find it on a map), I had no desire to stay in the Midwest. So what does any unemployed, 25 year-old do? They pack their Ford Explorer to the top and set off on a 2-day road trip to the New Jersey/New York area with their loving mother, and move in with one of their best friends.

My main goal is to bring a smile across your face and maybe a little jealousy too :) To all my married/mommy/baby daddy (can't exclude anyone) readers and friends, I'm probably going to offend you at some point – we can call it even for all the dates I missed out on when you took away my plus ones to your weddings. I hope you decide to tag along with me on this adventure!

A Lo Xx